Total Drama: Honest Seasons
by acl97.gioia
Summary: Your favorite seasons of the hit reality TV show, according to an honest opinion. Please don't read if you get offended easily, even if this is as light as... light, itself. I don't know, just, continue.
1. Total Drama Island

_**Okay so XD after many failed attempts, I finally realized I'm not good at "serious" fanfictions. I try, and try and once again try, but it's just not my thing. This is a TEST, read me out. After watching lots of honest trailers in YouTube, I thought about doing it with TD. So, instead of all the filler we got (commonly known as "episodes and proper character development", eh), I'll just show you the important stuff that happened in each season, in a VERY honest way. Obviously I'm starting with**_ _Camp TV_ _ **Total Drama Island so, if this gets enough reviews, I'll give you some TDA**_ _H_ _ **. Let's start!**_

 _ **Also, I'm using script format because**_ _fuck rules_ _ **it fits the story I'm telling better. M'kay?**_

* * *

 **The episode starts off with Chris McLean introducing himself as the host of Total Drama Island, and greeting the audience from Camp Wa** _kawaka_ **wanakwa, located somewhere. He tells the viewers that twenty-two** _idiots_ **campers have signed up to spend eight** _years_ **weeks at a summer** _concentration_ **camp, where they will participate in various** _orgies_ **challenges; some will win, some will lose** _, some are born to sing the blues_ **. Too much chit-chat, it's time to introduce the victims.**

 **Chris: They may seem ticked off; we told them they'll stay in a five-star resort!**

 **He's shown at the Dock of Shame, ready to meet the first eleven campers.**

 **Chris: First one is… Beth!**

 **Beth: Oh my, Chris, I'm so happy to meet you! And to be here, of course!**

 **Chris: Beth? Where is that dork? Guess she couldn't make it.**

 **Beth: I'm right here, Chris! Don't you…**

 **The next one to arrive is DJ, and Beth gets pushed aside** _as usual._

 **Chris: DJ!**

 **DJ: Hi, Chris!** **I'm ready to get** _sexy_ **friendly with some fluffy nature buddies!**

 **Chris: Here's one!**

 **The host with the most tosses a snake at DJ, to which he runs scared and falls into the lake. A shark then tries to eat him but he's crying so the shark feels pity and leaves him the hell alone.**

 **Chris: Boo-hoo. Anyway, here's Gwen!**

 **Gwen rolls her eyes and folds her arms and sighs and frowns and leaves quite clear she doesn't want any friends and is mean to everyone but then she smiles and is open to have friends.**

 **Chris: Great! Here's Geoff!**

 **Geoff: DUDE!**

 **Chris: Dude!**

 **Geoff: Dude?**

 **Chris: Dude.**

 **Geoff parties his way to the final six. Lindsay comes** _and Chris cums_ **in, smiling in American.**

 **Lindsay: *BLEEP CENSOR INTENSIFIES***

 **Chris: Also joining us, Heather!**

 **QUEEN HEATHER GODDESS OF TD GIVES EVERYONE A DEATH GLARE DESPITE SHE'S WEARING THOSE ICONIC SUNGLASSES OF HERS AND SHE SLAYS THE HECK OUT OF THOSE LOSERS. Beth (?) EVEN TRIES TO TALK TO HER BUT WHO ARE YOU LAME WANNABE?! GO RUIN TDA, YOU BORE!**

 **Chris: Duncan!**

 **Duncan: I'm rude and I don't care, get close to me and you're DEAD.**

 **Chris: Sure! Now, let's meet Tyler!**

 **Tyler freaking kills himself doing his stunts but he's given an extra life by** _a weird mushroom_ **God, and decides to use it in World Tour because he's fodder here** _and sadly in WT he's fodder again._

 **Harold is the next camper to arrive.**

 **Harold: *NOTE: I was supposed to put what Harold says but no one cares so bye***

 **Chris: Trent! The ninth, I mean, eleventh camper to arrive!**

 **Trent: Did you say nine? One, two, three, four… I mean,** _ **heeeeey.**_ **I'm cool and I have a guitar and my hair looks awesome.**

 **Gwen: I hate to dislike to like to love you.**

 **Trent and Gwen stare at each other awkwardly for six** _seasons_ **seconds before Heather walks in and kisses** _Gwen_ **Trent right in front of Gwen and then she reads her diary, revealing she LIKED TRENT ever since she was in her mother's uterus! Everyone** _sucks unlike_ **hates Heather now.**

 _Silver Surfer_ **Bridgette comes next, floating in her surfboard.**

 **Bridgette: I'm so boring yet clumsy!**

 **Geoff: I WAAAAANT**

 **Chris: Hey, we got the main characters introduced already. Besides OWEN THE WINNER, of course… oh well, let's meet the filler contestants and OWEN, THE WINNER. HE'S WINNING THIS.**

 **Noah, Katie, Sadie, Ezekiel, Cody, Eva and Justin all walk in but Chris doesn't even let them speak because they don't really matter so why would they? LeShawna also joins and she's eating KFC while playing basketball and rapping. She salutes Chris, blinding him with her bling-bling.**

 **LeShaw** _arma_ **na: What's up y'all? LeShawna's in the house! Ain't no white girl gonna win this year!**

 **She throws a watermelon at Heather's head** _how dares that stupid fifth-placing bitch_ **and then she's eliminated by the fodder characters and a talking parrot.**

 **Izzy is about to be introduced but she EXPLODES.**

 **Chris: Oh.**

 **Chris: Also, here's OWEN! Everyone, gather, be friendly and root for him TO WIN!**

 **Everyone does as told, but the others simply ignore him. Owen farts and they end up laughing.**

 **DJ: You're awesome!**

 **Geoff: My long-lost brother!**

 **Duncan: Way to go, fat ass.**

 **While they celebrate, the last camper appears. The** _YMCA_ **CIT, C** _hart_ **ourtney. She gently waves to her fellow competitors, exuding pride and** _prejudice, oh no, not yet_ **a well-mannered attitude.**

 **Courtney: I'm a CIT.**

 **Chris: Who cares!**

 **The twenty-two campers are magically transported to the campfire pit. Chris tells the campers the person who is the last one left in the competition** _OWEN_ **, wins one hundred thousand dollars. He splits them into two teams: Gwen, Trent,** _Regina George bae_ **Heather, Lindsay, OWEN THE WINNER, LeShawna and five other folks form the Screaming Gophers, and Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Courtney, Duncan, Harold and more useless fodder form the Killer Bass. He also introduces them to the confessional, where they'll confess their inner thoughts and whatever.**

* * *

 ***CONFESSIONAL, Ezekiel***

 **Ezekiel: Eh. (He starts picking his nose)**

 ***END CONFESSIONAL***

* * *

 **When we return, we notice only the twelve aforementioned contestants remain.**

 **Chris: Oh well, this season has gone fast!**

 **Courtney: Obviously I'm gonna win!**

 **Harold gives her an evil glare and she's eliminated in the** _worst tbh she was robbed_ **best twist ever.**

 **Harold: Yes, take that Duncan!**

 **He's then eliminated, and Chris declares MERGE. So he lets Izzy and EVA BACK! But Eva is a joke so let's just get rid of her once again because it's funny lmao. Gwen is angry to be happy to be sad with Trent, and LeShawna gets him out. Izzy suddenly explodes and she dies, taking Bridgette, Lindsay, DJ and Geoff with her (don't worry, like Tyler, they're given an extra life decide to not return because OWEN WINS ANYWAY). No one really notices LeShawna is also gone.**

 **Chris: Who will win? Duncan? Heather? Gwen? They all have chances! All but OWEN, THE WINNER! Because, it's obvious he's NOT going to WIN!**

 **Duncan is then erased and we move into the final three. Heather loses her hair after** _becoming a Britney Spears fan_ **her** _undeserving_ **deserving karma finally gets to her, right before the finale.**

 **Heather: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

 **Chris: Bye!**

 **Owen and Gwen face off in the finale. No one roots for her because she's a weird goth girl who learned to let people into her life which is boring compared to fart jokes. Also Owen wins.**

 **Chris is about to hand Owen the one hundred thousand dollars check but then he destroys it.**

 **Chris: One final challenge! A race to find a suitcase that contains ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS!**

 **Bald Heather: No way we're running around the island like idiots again!**

 **Everyone but Heather: NO ONE LIKES YOU MEANIE!**

 **Owen happily forfeits the money he just won and runs to find the million** _because he's indeed an idiot like Heather said_ **. Soon, the rest is also doing this, even Heather** _I forgive you queen_ **.**

 **ONE HOUR LATER.**

 **Chris: This is boring. Chef, just get every merger contestant but Eva into the lake, oh and throw some fodder in there too. We need to make them think everyone stands a chance.**

 **Chef Hatchet makes his first and last appearance in the season when he uses his reality warping abilities to get Justin (he paid him with** _sex_ **sex), Beth (ew), Harold (ew), Trent, Bridgette, Lindsay, DJ, Izzy, Geoff, LeShawna, Duncan, Heather, Gwen and Owen "surprisingly" in the lake. The fodder and Courtney run towards the Dock minutes later, to find Chris seeing how a shark eats the booty.**

 **I was about to make a sexual joke with that but I'm tired lol.**

 **Chris: Okay, you all, congratulations! You are coming back for season two!**

 **Everyone in the lake: Season two?!**

 **Courtney: GET ME IN OR I'LL SUE YOU OH YOU'RE SO GONNA MEET MY LAWYERS!**

 **The fodders just shrug.**

 **Chris: And that was an intense season! Make sure you tune in for the second one! A brand new location and a whole new set of challenges! The last one standing will receive one million dollars. Who will win this time? We promise you, it won't be Courtney! Enjoy watching from the sidelines!**

 **Courtney: AHHHHH!**

 **Chris: This was… TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!**

* * *

 _ **And that's it. Total Drama Island: The Honest Edition. Don't forget to review or whatever; just tell me your thoughts about this. I'll upload Total Drama Action**_ _aka the season no one cares about_ _ **: The Honest Edition later on, as I plan to cover up all seasons and maybe RR too. Thanks for reading!**_


	2. Total Drama Action

_**YAY, SECOND CHAPTER. This is… Total Drama Action: The Honest Edition.**_

* * *

 **The episode opens by showing the cast-mates who qualified for season two: Owen, Gwen, Heather, Duncan, LeShawna, Geoff, Izzy, DJ, Lindsay, Bridgette, Trent; along with non-merging fodders** _Napoleon Dynamite_ **Harold,** _Ugly Betty_ **Beth and** _Jason Jackson Juno Jefferson Jimmy_ **Justin, as they're dropped off by a bus to the set of** _Deep Throat_ **Total Drama Action, after ending in a fourteen-way-** _orgy_ **tie for the million dollar prize Chris gently offered last season.**

 **The** _sex_ **cast-mates engage in some conversation, including praising Beth for** _becoming a relevant character even if she didn't deserve it_ **getting her braces off.**

 **Trent: Hey, you took your braces off!**

 **Beth: Yes, I'm so winning this season; my braces were like totally making me lose all chance!**

 **LeShawna: PRAISE FOR THAT!**

 **She dedicates a hip-hop song to her** _ally in being a boring character who hates Heather_ **friend.**

 **Chris picks them up in a tram and gives them a tour of their temporary new home, revealing that the losing cast-mates will take the Walk of Shame into the Lame-o-sine. As they drive around the set, he begins to tell a story about the set being used for a monster movie.**

 **SUDDENLY AND OUT OF NOWHERE, IT WASN'T PLANNED, A REAL MONSTER APPEARS OH JESUS**

 **Trent: Hey girlfriend Gwen, let's run!**

 **Gwen: I think we should follow Duncan!**

 **Duncan: Yeah, I mean, I don't care about you guys but TDI made me a better person so I care!**

 **Gwen: Right. You fool, come and hug me.**

 **Gwen and Duncan hug for at least nine minutes, which Trent counts as they pass by.**

 **Trent: One… two… three… four…**

 **His right eye begins to twitch as he does so.**

 **Meanwhile, Izzy once again explodes and Owen dedicates her a song** oh wait that's something from season three ugh **in his mind but then he farts loudly and the monster dies out of laughter, because Owen is so funny and lovable. He also wins the challenge because, OWEN.**

 **Heather with a Wig: Wait, you never told us this was a challenge?**

 **Everyone but Heather with a Wig: SHUT UP MEANIE WE HATE YOU.**

 **Beth does nothing until the final four.**

 **The fourteen cast-mates reunite and try to find Chris, but all they find is themselves trapped inside an alien house or something, I don't know, there are lots of eggs.**

 **Harold: This is so amazing I mean I can totally use my skills here gosh, I mean gosh.**

 **Bridgette: *kisses** _a pole_ **Geoff***

 **Geoff: *kisses** _Brody_ **Bridgette***

 **Harold: Gosh.**

 **Beth does nothing until the final four. Oh and GeoffxBridgette get eliminated because** _unexpected teenage pregnancy_ **we obviously need a pair to host the** _filler episodes_ **Aftermaths.**

 **Lindsay comes up with a plan because she was plain stupid last season so she has to improve this time around** _just to get wasted by Beth who did nothing until the final four btw_ _ **.**_ **Still she doesn't win because half of the season is centered on breaking up Trent and Gwen I mean hi.**

 **Gwen: We should break up, Trent, you're insane.**

 **Trent: *His nine eyes twitch as he plays nine songs with his nine guitars and sings them in nine different languages* What do you mean? I love you, NINE. I mean one, two, three, and four…**

 **Gwen: Ugh!**

 **She goes to hug Duncan again. The bad boy smirks to the crazy musician.**

 **Chris: Don't forget of the teams! Gwen and Trent, it's a surprise you win the right to choose your own teams, totally unplanned and surprising!**

 **Gwen: I don't know, maybe, eh, well, I'm not sure, I might pick, eh, well…**

 **Gwen: Also Duncan, fuck you Trent.**

 **Trent: NINE NINE! I mean, I pick Lindsay! Am I making you feel jealous, NINE? I mean, Gwen?!**

 **Gwen is having** _hardcore sex_ **such a good time with Duncan to notice Trent's attempts at making her jealous. She also picks LeShawna, DJ, Heather and *sigh* Harold on her team, to form the Screaming** _Gophers_ **Gaffers. The rest aka Justin (who?), Beth who did nothing until the final four, Owen and** _Courtney_ **Izzy become the Killer** _Bass_ **Grips; Chris reminds them of the confessional.**

* * *

 ***CONFESSIONAL, Justin***

 **Justin (?): I'm the new antagonist.** **Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!**

 ***END CONFESSIONAL***

* * *

 **DJ walks around the set and finds Chef Hatchet** _wanking to a Chris picture_ **wandering on his own.**

 **DJ: Hey Chef!**

 **Chef: Hi.**

 **DJ gets scared of Chef Hatchet's manly** _penis_ **voice and passes** _away_ **out.**

 **Chef Hatchet: You need to get tough. I propose you an illegal alliance.**

 **DJ: Sure.**

 **DJ: This is unfair I quit.**

 **DJ leaves, and the first half of this horrid season is finally over. Also Courtney came back after suing the show and she** _fucking got rid of Owen I love you_ **fucking got rid of Owen I love you.**

 **Beth does nothing until the final four.**

 **Bald Heather: I've lost so many wigs, so many times. I'm not crazy, I'm just bald!**

 **#ICONIC**

 **Also Heather is eliminated and the whole season gets ruined thank you bye I lost all interest.**

 **LeShawna: I managed to beat Heather; I'll manage to beat that princess Courtney!**

 **LeShawna is eliminated.**

 **Justin: Maybe I'm more than a pretty face! Doesn't matter if my antagonist arc flopped big time, I'll show them how smart I can be!**

 **Justin is eliminated.**

 **Lindsay: What Justin said minus the anthology part!**

 **Lindsay is eliminated.**

 **Harold: Duncan has been bullying me the WHOLE season, so I must show them I can be this season's true underdog and win it all, to rub it on his dirty criminal face!**

 **Harold is eliminated.**

 **Also OWEN IS** _FUCKING_ **BACK.** _And he gets third place omg;_ **Courtney and Duncan are kicking each other's kiwis while Beth LITERALLY does nothing until the final four. Oh wait… we're in the final four already! Oh, and she's still doing nothing impressive.**

 **Courtney: I'm the new Heather! Ha, she placed third last season so I saved myself to get eliminated in that place! The** _writers_ **producers can't be so repetitive!**

 **She's right. Courtney gets eliminated in FOURTH place.**

 **Also Owen is gone too, he was a mole or something.** _Lmao at least something good happens._

 **Chris: This season was a blast, cast-mates! Now we're up for the most** _anticlimactic_ **exciting finale** **of all times: the rivalry of rivalries, the ultimate showdown… Beth versus Duncan!**

 **Duncan: *He stares awkwardly at Beth* Hi. We never interacted before.**

 **Beth: Oh, hello! See? I took my braces off! Also, good luck!**

 **The final two are magically transported (thanks to new Sorcerer Supreme Chef Hatchet) to the** _filler episodes_ **Aftermath set, where everyone is** _considering leaving the country_ **waiting for them.**

 **Chris: Your fellow cast-mates will vote for a winner!**

 **Beth: Guys, please vote for me! I'm nice, kind and took my braces off!**

 **Duncan: Eh, well, I was partially to blame for Gwent's break-up and pretty much carried a lame plot with Courtney the whole season. But hey, I also took my braces off!**

 **Beth: You didn't have any braces before!**

 **Duncan: What's your name again?**

 **Chris carries a box full of random votes because he doesn't care about the cast-mates opinions. He starts to take one by one, reading them out loud, to announce a winner.**

 **Chris: DUNCAN! Congrats! Now get out of the set!**

 **The host with the most forces Izzy to explode one last time and everyone dies.**

 **Beth: But, but, my braces… they weren't in my mouth anymore!**

 **Also Brady doesn't exist in this fanfic because he was** _a cheap plot character to give Beth more relevance despite her unbearable presence_ **chosen to compete in Total! Daycare! Drama! #TD6**

 **Chris: Oh but, we're not done yet… a new season is in the works! Total Drama Dirtbags!**

 **Courtney: I so gave you that idea from one of my confessionals!**

 **Chris: SHUT UP. Also you're not in it, but he is…**

 **A hot guy walks in, making boys and girls equally** _cream_ **scream, figuratively. His name is Alejandro Burromuerto and he's the** _fastest man alive_ **new** **addition to the upcoming season.**

 **The fodders from last season are pushed to speak for the first time since their introduction.**

 **Cody: I'm not gay!**

 **Noah: I have an idea! Let's get to the Celebrity Manhunt's studio before the Dirtbags and beg for another chance at fame and fortune! They can't get rid of us, what are we, Courtney?**

 **Courtney: HEY!**

 **Everyone but Noah: We thought you were the lazy careless one.**

 **Noah: And you haven't seen me in RR *He winks*.**

 **Chris: Nah, don't worry. It was a joke! I'd never replace you guys.**

 **Ezekiel: So, eh, are we, eh, coming back for, eh, next season? Eh?**

 **Chris: Yeah… most of you are. But the failure of Total Drama Action means we have to cut some major characters. Basically, Trent, Geoff, Justin and Beth; go join K &S and Eva at the sidelines.**

 **Eva: WHAT? AM I NOT COMPETING AGAIN?**

 **Beth: But my braces…**

 **Chris: Don't worry, we have a new fangirl. You'll meet her soon… in your TV, back home!**

 **So the third season's cast is actually similar, but including Noah, Cody, Tyler and Ezekiel instead of the new forgotten fodders. Also Beth did nothing until the final four.**

 **Chris: This was… TOTAL! DRAMA! ACTION!**

* * *

 _ **Please review, thanks for reading! Oh and sorry, Total Drama: The Musical stays on hiatus.**_


	3. Total Drama World Tour

_**THIRD CHAPTER! This is… Total Drama World Tour: The Honest Edition.**_

* * *

 **As the episode opens, Chris introduces the new season and the concept of the show, which features the competing contestants participating in culturally themed challenges all over the world and breaking** _bad_ **into spontaneous musicals in every episode. He then introduces all the** _fame-hungry idiots who complain about Chris' sadism but can't reject coming back_ **contestants, who were selected in the previous last season's finale as well as two new** _victims_ **victims.**

 **Chris: Here's the infamous** _love triangle that almost ruins the season_ **Duncan, Gwen and Courtney!**

 **Gwen and Duncan** _record an amateur sex tape_ **kiss in front of Courtney and she doesn't notice. Later, they simply exchange glares and she's now all angry and jealous.**

 **Chris: Heather! The girl everyone hates!**

 **Heather: I don't care. I will win this season, you'll see.**

* * *

 ***CONFESSIONAL, Heather***

 **Heather: Look, I have a new hairstyle. Just like Beth (who?) last season, my design was updated so I'm probably going to last long in this** _but I'm not a bore like everyone else so yay!_

 ***END CONFESSIONAL***

* * *

 **Everyone but Heather: SHUT UP WE STILL CAN'T FORGET HOW YOU USED LINDSAY** _and Beth but she's so forgettable even the TD staff forgot of her after making her a finalist lol_ **AND HOW YOU READ GWEN'S DIARY AND HOW YOU KISSED TRENT AND HOW YOU ACTUALLY PLAYED THE GAME AND WERE COMPETITIVE WHICH IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS SHOW BUT IT'S MEAAAN!**

 **Chris: Now, let's see some** _new fodder_ **more returning contestants! Lindsay, LeShawna, DJ, Owen and Harold!**

 **Lindsay comes out of** _Chris' bedroom_ **the bus first; followed by LeShawna who** _does nothing of relevance because she's fodder_ **salutes at the camera. DJ holds Owen from behind as** _they have sex, omg, Owen has been heavily implied but finally they acknowledge DJ being gay too_ **he helps the fatso get over his aerophobia attack.**

 **Owen: *farts***

 **Harold: *insert annoying blabbering no one cares about***

 **Noah: *insert sarcastic one-note joke***

 **Chris: Oh right! Also coming back we have the audience's** _overrated_ **favorites, Cody and Noah!**

 **Noah: *insert sarcastic reply that instantly becomes a classic***

 **Cody: I'm not gay! I mean, I'm happy to be here! Also, I'm not gay!**

 **Chris: Yeah, these guys are surely loved** _in Fanfiction where they star in these ridiculous fanfics and are used for nonsensical pairings with, I don't know, Katie or a random "shy, lonely, weird" OC_ **.**

 **Chris: Also, hey, we have more** _fodder_ **interesting contestants!**

 **Bridgette, Tyler, Izzy and Ezekiel are rushed to walk down the bus because.**

 **Chris: Finally, we're ready to meet the two new guys. It's quite obvious they won't last long because they're NEW and we haven't seen them before, so they're clearly early boots!**

 **Alejandro:** _ **Hey**_ **.**

 **Girls and guys equally** _have the hots for_ **admire the sexy Latino as he joins them.**

 **Chris: Now with us, the** _poor man's Izzy mixed with some Beth (?)_ **obsessive TD fan, Sierra!**

 **Sierra: *hyperventilation intensifies***

 **Sierra: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODY!**

 **Chris and Chef Hatchet** _who comes out of nowhere because, remember, he's a wizard_ **then bring forth the Total Drama Jumbo Jet, which will take the contestants around** _Ohio_ **the world.**

 **Courtney: This is so unsafe!**

 **Duncan: Not as unsafe as me and Gwen having sex without a condom!**

 **Courtney doesn't listen to Duncan's comment because** _she just can't realize there's something between them I mean, seriously girl even Sierra figured it out_ **she's a CIT or something.**

 **Owen: I hate to fly! *farts***

 **Chris smacks Owen on the head with a frying pan for his multiple complaints** _LMAO_ **and everyone else quiets down and shows "excitement". The host decides to give them a tour of the plane, and later he tells them that they must sing whenever he wants in order to avoid instant elimination, something that is met with a barrage of complaints by almost every contestant.**

 _I'm not going to criticize TDWT's songs because I enjoyed most of them so yeah, suck it._

 **Ezekiel: Eh, I'm going to win this season, I'm stronger, and smarter, and…**

 **Chris: …annoying-er, and shut the fuck up already!**

 **Chris then throws him out the plane's door and declares him eliminated. Obviously the "Most Likely to be a Lord of the Rings Parody" is not giving up that easily and he becomes a stowaway. After some traveling, the contestants arrive in Egypt where Chris announces the first** _and final_ **challenge: "Pyramid Over Under", where contestants must climb over** _Chris_ **or go under** _some panties_ **the Pyramid and reach the finish line. They split into teams.**

 **Gwen goes down** **with Duncan** _as they've been doing since Island_ **but then Courtney protests and convinces them to** _let her join and have a threesome_ **climb the pyramid instead.**

 **Heather, to Sierra: Hey, new girl! You're a Total Drama fan so you probably never watched the show and don't know I was season one's main antagonist. Wanna be friends?** _LOL x10000_

 **Sierra: Sure! Also COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODY, I mean, let's go!**

 **Cody: Why is she stalking me? I mean, I stalk Gwen but I don't deserve to be stalked!**

 **Chris: Challenge over! Let's form teams!**

 **LeShawna, Harold, DJ, Bridgette and Lindsay become Team** _anything but_ **Victory!**

 **Alejandro, Tyler, Noah, Owen and Sierra are Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Hot!**

 **Heather, Cody, Courtney, Gwen and Izzy form the all-girls Team** _Feminazi_ **Amazon!**

 **Duncan: Let me quit!**

 **Ezekiel: Let me join, eh!**

 **Chris: No to both!**

 ***FANRAGE INTENSIFIES***

 **Chris: Okay, yes to both! But only for the first half of the season!**

 **Duncan is eliminated FIRST** _like OMG FINALLY_ **and Ezekiel joins Team** _NO_ **Victory.**

 **Ezekiel: Now I'm going to win!**

 **Izzy suddenly explodes and kills all members of Team** _we'll never have a single_ **Victory, but Ezekiel, who fakes his death and once again goes all stowaway-ish and becomes feral.**

 **Chris: Yay, time to bring Duncan back! The show is NOTHING without him!**

 **Tyler, to Noah and Cody: Hey, what happens to us if Duncan returns?**

 **Noah: I don't think our possibilities of development will be wasted. I mean, I already have this interesting rivalry with Alejandro, so…**

 **Noah is eliminated.**

 **Tyler: And I'm somehow his ally even if I despised him at first, so maybe I'll be more than a failed jock and an easy source of comedy this season!**

 **Tyler is eliminated.**

 **Cody: *is about to speak but Sierra covers his mouth with** _her penis_ **tape***

 **Sierra: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODY DON'T**

 **Also** _Beth_ **Cody does nothing until the final four.**

 **Alejandro: Courtney.**

 **Courtney: Alejandro.**

 **Alejandro: We never talked before but #Gwuncan is a thing now.**

 **Courtney: WHAAAAAAT OMG I KNEW IT I ALWAYS KNEW!**

 **New Heather I mean Gwen: What, but, I...**

 **Gwen is eliminated.**

 **Chris: I love this drama, ratings are skyrocketing! Solely to keep things as interesting, let's throw a returning or, in this case, debuting contestant! Blaineley!**

 **Blaineley:** _ **Blainerific is my name!**_ _To be fair, singing that song was the only relevant thing she did._

 **Courtney: That is SO unfair!** _GUUURL you SO did that last season LMAO._

 **Owen: *farts***

 **Chris: Oh.**

 **Owen is eliminated** _and he doesn't fucking get to return later on I'm crying_ **because the Fresh TV staff finally realized how annoying his fart jokes are THANK YOU JESUS**

 **Duncan and Courtney, to each other: I HATE YOU!**

 **Heather and Alejandro, to each other: I HATE YOU!**

 **Sierra, to Cody: I LOVE YOU!**

 **Cody, to Sierra: I FEAR YOU!**

 **Chris: Which "hate" pair to eliminate…? Duncan and Courtney, duh! Also, Blaineley is joining you guys because she never did anything to earn being an actual contestant!**

 **The final four is on and Cody still hasn't done a single thing besides being a boring underdog.**

 **Sierra: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODY**

 **Cody: I don't like you, and never will! I don't want your help! I can do this on my own!** _Lol what shame on you floater._

 **Sierra: Okay… maybe I can learn to not obsess over** _stupid worthless stuff like Cody, listen to that Fanfiction folks_ **people and simply try to gain their trust. We can be friends, Cody!**

 **Sierra is eliminated.**

 **Cody: Sierra, HELP, I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN, I PROBABLY LIKE YOU NOW!**

 **Heather, to Alejandro: We're the greatest adversaries this game has ever seen!**

 **Alejandro, to Heather: You and I weren't meant to last! So look out now, you're in my sight!**

 **Heather and Alejandro, to each other: It's time for you to say bye-bye-bye!** _ **You are the worst, why must you torment me? It's all a game to you, but not to me!**_

 **#AleheatherOTP**

 **Also Cody loses** _LOL YES_ **and we have a villain vs. villain finale** _I JUST HAD AN ORGASM JESUS_

 **Heather: You mean, I'm the hero now?**

 _YES YOU ARE OMG I'M CRYING_

 **Heather and Alejandro kiss, and she kicks him down the volcano!**

 **Heather: Yeah, boys are okay. But a million dollars is way better!**

 **#GODDESS**

 **Chris: And the winner of Total Drama World Tour is… HEATHER!**

 _FINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY THE GODDESS GETS HER DESERVING VICTORY_

 **And then Ezekiel comes and ruins it. FUCK YOU.**

 **Chris: Soon we'll be back, with a new cast! This was… TOTAL! DRAMA! WORLD TOUR!**

* * *

 _ **Yes, it's quite obvious TDWT is my favorite season. Heather winning pleases me as you can't imagine. Anyway, please review, and thanks for reading!**_


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